The Dear Dr.MOZ Baby Blog

Dear Dr.MOZ,

We just had our second child (baby girl) and was curious to know if the GoodFather had any advice for the new “big sister”. She is two years old and we would like to know what we could do to continue to make her feel special with so much attention being given to the baby?

Thanks Doc!
Jay in Boston

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Congratulations with the bouncing baby girl Jay! This is a great question and an important time for you and your family, so I brought in a few of my associates at the online community of fathers at DaddyDaily.com to tackle the issue. Take it away DaddyDaily!

Jay, first of all – CONGRATS on your second baby! Now that you figured it out with having one, the rules will now change – but it is the best experience you will have (until you get to the third). So, it sounds like things are going well so for with the arrival of your second. I’m sure that big sister may have a lot of questions at times, may seem disinterested at time and may be difficult at times?

Bringing home a new baby can be a very confusing time for a toddler. She may not be able to communicate her feelings verbally at that age and that can translate into some interesting behavior. If that behavior arrives it can be troubling for the entire family. A lot of energy is spent on those late night feedings and the stress of having two babies can really have an impact on both parents. So, what are some points we heard around the daddy community that may help you out (especially check out the last two):

• Be aware of and prepared for any negative actions. They can come in various ways such as screaming fits or tantrums. These types of actions are apparently common.
• It’s important to have A LOT of PATIENCE (remember who the adult is in the situation), let a child express themselves and be there for support. There is no greater act a father can give then to understand their child and give them the support they need.
• We also never left the babies alone together. Not that we felt the toddler would try and hurt the baby, but just to make sure no accidents happened.
• Remember as a new dad it is OK to ask others for help or advice. As men we typically have a tough time asking for help, but last I checked no one gave me a manual when I had my second child or the first one. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or advice from your parents, in-laws, brothers, sisters, doctors, friends about their experiences – it just may help with some tough situations.
• Continue the open and constant communication with your partner on how the babies are interacting and progressing. This will help your partner understand the commitment to your relationship and to the growing family.
• A lot of energy is place on the babies as they take almost all of your time from feeding, cleaning, laundry, baths, naps, washing bottles, etc… Don’t forget to take care of your partner and their needs also. As the father, your responsibility is not only for the babies, but to make sure your partner is doing OK. Remember that old saying, “…if mamma ain’t happy…ain’t nobody happy!”
• Don’t forget to laugh and remember all the joy and pride your family give you. There will be times when all you can do is laugh and enjoy the moment! Remember they grow fast, take some time to enjoy them at this age.

So Jay…how about a few practical tips for the new big sister? Head over to our friends at Clever Parents to see “Part 2″ from the crew at DaddyDaily.com. If anyone else has a sibling tip that Jay might find useful, please click on the comments bubble above to share it.

Your favorite family man,

The GoodFather

(meet the GoodFather at DrMOZ.com)